Chuck Norris Jokes

Chuck Norris Jokes

1. Chuck Norris's apartment pays him a thousand dollars on the first of every month.  It's never been late.

2.  Chuck Norris once killed an African elephant by flossing his teeth.

3. Chuck Norris's bed is a tarp spread between four peeled Redwoods.  Contrary to what you might expect, he did not scare the bark off the trees, there just isn't any more room to carve notches for all the women he's had sex with.

4. Mel Gibson wasn't drunk when he called that police officer, "Sugar Tits."  He thought he was Chuck Norris.

5.  Chuck Norris drank an imported beer, once.  Just kidding.

6. Chuck Norris sends more porn stars to the dentist than anyone.

7.  Chuck Norris knows the world is overpopulated, but killing people makes him want to f*ck.

8. Chuck Norris got into Harvard by throwing wolverines at the Admissions Office.  He was also a wiz at the Common Application.

9.  Suicide bombers are not afraid of Chuck Norris.  Any more.

10.  A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.