FACTS YOU MAY NOT KNOW ABOUT SEX

FACTS YOU MAY NOT KNOW ABOUT SEX

Sex Facts Checklist 
Directions: Discuss each of the following generalizations about male/female sexuality with your partner to find out if any are accurate to your relationship:
Sexual Drives, Desires, and Rejection 

1.   Men need sex to feel connected.
     Women need to feel connected (through talking, romance, or affection) to want  sex.

2.  Men are usually aware of sexual urges prior to sexual contact.
    Women often are not aware of feeling aroused until they are sexually stimulated.

3.  Tension and stress can trigger a man’s arousal system and aid performance.
    Women need to relax and open up to enjoy sex.  Stress and constantly caring for  others can inhibit sexual     responsiveness.

4.   Unusual ideas or waking a man up to have sex can excite him because of the above.
     Pressuring a woman to try “unusual” activities or waking her up to have sex can   kill her desire.

5.   Sexual rejection will feel doubly painful when a man is aroused. After too much  rejection, a man may           lose his sexual desires.
     A woman needs to feel safe to say “No” to sex, or she may lose her desire to say  Yes.”

6.   When women initiate sex regularly, men can feel worse about themselves (due to  performance pressure)       and eventually lose all interest. A man needs clear  messages that his partner loves sex with him (without         feeling pressure to perform) to maintain interest.
     Women may appreciate a man regularly initiating sex as long as he can read her “signals” when she is too      exhausted or tense and be willing to settle for hugs  and cuddles.

7.   Expressing confidence in a man’s sexual expertise can arouse him.
     When a man appears confident in his sexual expertise, a woman may feel aroused.

8.   Sexual discussions can turn a man off if he isn’t in the mood.
     Talking about a woman’s feelings without pressure to have sex can help her mood.

Arousals and Orgasms 
9.   A man first needs direct stimulation of his penis to “wake up” other erogenous  zones (testicles,                      perineum, or other areas.)
     A woman may first need her least erogenous zones (feet, thighs, etc.) caressed  for her to be comfortable      having her breasts, nipples, or clitoris stimulated.

10.  Men need a direct approach for an orgasm, which can take five minutes or less.
     Women need an indirect, teasing approach (moving toward and away from erogenous zones), which can       take 20 minutes or more.

11.   Men are usually consistently capable of orgasms due to steady levels of  testosterone.
      Women are not always capable of having orgasms or enjoying certain types of  touch due to constantly          changing ratios of estrogen, progesterone, and testosterone.

12.  Men may be more likely to have one routine sexual approach due to consistent hormonal levels.
     Women may need different types or amounts of stimulation because of varying hormone levels.

13.   Men need orgasms to be satisfied because sexual pleasure comes from releasing tension.
      Women can be satisfied with closeness without having an orgasm because they enjoy the building of               tension and like the intimacy that comes with penetration.

14.  Men need occasional quickies to maintain sexual interest and have the patience to regularly focus on              their partner’s needs.
     Women need quickies for times when they are not capable of having orgasms or when they are too                exhausted for longer lovemaking.

15.  Arousal enhances a man’s visual appreciation of his partner’s body.
     Insecurities about appearance unnecessarily inhibit a woman’s sexual desires.

16.  When a women responds with sexual sounds, men feel validated and aroused.
     When a man makes love verbally (“I love your . . .” “You’re so . . .”) women are  often aroused because       they feel a sense of connection and are reassured about  their bodies.

17.  A man can be pushed out of control or turned off if a woman takes charge and tries too hard.
       A woman’s sexual responses will arouse a man and help him last longer.
       A woman’s orgasms will be inhibited either by pressuring her to or by not giving  her opportunities to            have a climax.  If sex regularly lasts too long, passion can die for both sexes.

18.  After his orgasm a man’s desire disappears.
     After her orgasm, a woman can enjoy penetration. It will not matter to her how long her partner’s                  erection lasts if he gives her the opportunity to have an orgasm first. 

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10 Sex Tips For Women

10 Sex Tips For Women

1. “Why does he want sex so much more often than I do?”

Basically, because he's awash with the hormone testosterone and you're not. Women have it, but not nearly as much as men. Testosterone is largely responsible for lust, anger and increased physical strength. Ceren Altin, of online science magazine Kingdom Robertea, explains: “As you get older, the level of testosterone decreases in both sexes and causes a decrease in libido.”

On the upside, what women lack in testosterone they make up for in sensitivity. Women respond better to touch than men, whose testosterone levels mean their skin is thicker and thus less responsive.

Researchers are currently investigating the possibility of producing a testosterone-based pill for women, because women with greater levels of testosterone have a higher sex drive. Currently there are no female equivalents of Viagra that have been medically approved, although various sensitising creams that draw blood to the genitals do exist. Alternatively, some herbal pharmacists suggest small doses of damiana, which stimulates the urinary tract and thus feelings of sexual excitement,  or herbal supplements such as ArginMax, which helps the body develop nitric oxide and leads to arousal.

2. “Why do women orgasm?”

This is a hot topic in sex circles because, unlike men, women don't need to orgasm to ensure conception. US anthropologist Donald Symons suggest women share men's basic neurological mechanisms, which is nature's way of simplifying the genetic human blueprint, In this way, the clitoris is simply an undeveloped version of the penis, serving no biological purpose - just as men have nipples but can't breastfeed.

Undeveloped it may be, but the clitoris is extremely sensitive. And although many women don't orgasm through intercourse, clitoral orgasms are much simpler to achieve (and many hours of fretting could be avoided if most women - and men - realised that). If he can rub your clitoris while inside you - the best position for this is you on top - you, too can come during intercourse, without worrying about where your
G-spot is.

According to Dr Glen wilson, co-author of The Science of Love, “Impressive confirmation of Symons theory of female orgasm comes from the discovery that male hormones increase a woman's sexual responsiveness.”

If you are still pursuing the big O, Wilson's advice is not to give up. “Fingers haven't yet evolved for playing the piano,” he explains. “However, many of us have learned to do so, thereby giving ourselves - and other people - a great deal of pleasure. Likewise, many women who have not experienced an orgasm can learn the skill and their partners can be taught to assist.”

3. “What actually happens during an orgasm?”

Sex research pioneers Masters and Johnson tabulated 10,000 episodes of sexual activity in more than 600 women (and men). They found that the human sexual response cycle consists of four stages: excitement, plateau, orgasm and resolution. During orgasm men and women report very similar feelings. For men, direct genital stimulation usually causes an erection in seconds. Also, the testicles are pulled closer to the body, the scrotum tenses, muscles clench and blood pressure increases. For women, the excitement stage is characterised by the onset of vaginal lubrication, clitoral erection, changes in the size and shape of the labia, nipple erection and swelling of the breasts. At this stage, symptoms increase in intensity. Orgasm, for men, involves emission (when semen gathers in the upper part of the urethra, leading to a three-second sensation of “ejaculatory inevitability”, according to Masters and Johnson) and expulsion (four to five rhythmic contractions at the base of the penis, forcing semen out).

Orgasm in women involves rhythmic contractions of the uterus and the muscles round the vagina. Women normally experience three to 10 very strong contractions, also at 0.8 second intervals. In both sexes, oxytocin is released, which strengthens contractions.

Best of all, while he only gets one orgasm per session, you are ready to go again  from standing start.

4. “Yes, OK, but how do I get one?”

If you've never experienced an orgasm you're not alone: it's a sad fact that three quarters of women don't orgasm through intercourse - but you can change your fortunes.

Firstly, you have to prepare your body for sex. The vaginal lubrication, clitoral erection, changes in the size and shape of the labia, nipple erection and swelling of the breasts are all the basic ingredients to get you to the finishing line. Unless all these changes happen, you're unlikely to come - so if he's bashing away and you're getting nowhere, he needs to pay more attention to your clitoris and breasts until you reach the plateau stage. Then, he needs to take a bit more time out from his side of things to make sure he's reaching all the right places.

Dr Barbara Keesling, author of The Good Girls Guide To Bad Girl Sex, says “Some intercourse positions are more likely to offer the stimulation a woman needs to have an orgasm.

“The one I recommend is the position in which the woman lies on her back with her legs in the air and knees bent and her partner kneels between her legs. This stimulates the pubococcygus (PC) muscle (also known as the pelvic floor muscle, which you use to hold back urine), the cervix and the G-spot and allows her partner to easily withdraw his penis to stimulate the clitoris.

“Some orgasms may include only PC muscle spasms and a mild, good feeling - others maybe strong they cause your body to arch of the bed,” Now you know the theory behind it, it's a case of practice.

5. “Can he tell if I fake an orgasm?”

Not necessarily, but some signs can be harder to emulate than others. As well as the flushing and screaming, real orgasm cause your toes to clench, so it you are faking it, don't forget to get your tootsies involved. Internally, the only certain physical changes are the contractions of your vagina - and they can easily be faked, as women have strong muscles in that area. In fact, doing so may be very worth while as it can
encourage a real orgasm.

But instead of faking it, why not try to get into it. Make sure you allow yourself to relax; stress lowers your libido by inducing the hormone prolactin, which reduces sexual arousal. Pour yourself a glass of wine, have a massage and let your mind wander into the play zone.

6. “What's the most pleasurable time of the month to have the best sex?

Women become more sexually promiscuous during the middle of their cycle, which is your body's way of encouraging you to get pregnant. The female fertility hormone, oestrogen, is released in greater quantities mid-cycle to prepare you for pregnancy. Also women who have regular sex have higher levels of oestrogen, making them more fertile (and more keen!).

As well as this oestrogen surge, there's another factor contributing to your increased sex drive mid-cycle - your sense of smell.

Scientists of the Research Group for Sexology at the University of Cantania, Italy, studied 60 women, aged 18 to 40, none of whom were taking the pill. Each was exposed to a range of common smells - aniseed, musk, clove, citrus and ammonia - at various times during a single reproductive cycle. The researchers found that a woman's sense of smell is strongly linked to sex drive and may give women the ability to detect
pheromones in a man (sex chemicals that send subliminal messages to those around you), thus helping them find a sexual partner.

Backing this up, a University of Northumbria study conducted this year asked women to rate men's attractiveness from photos. When the experiment was repeated with the volunteers secretly exposed to male pheromones, all rated the men as more attractive.

7. “Why are some areas of my body more erogenous than others?”

Erogenous zones tend to be areas with the thinnest skin and the greatest concentration of nerve endings. They include the sides of the neck, breasts, inner arms and thighs and obviously genitals. The thinnest skin on the body, however, is on the eyelids.

Women may be more interested in having their erogenous zones explored than men are, as guys are already blessed with the ultimate in thin-skinned erogeny in the form of a penis. As for where's best, well, if it feels good, do it.The ancient Greeks believed that the most erogenous part of the body was the philtrum - the indentation above the lip. Whatever area flips your switch, it's worth paying attention to it - stroking and licking erotic zones sends signals straight to the penis or clitoris.

Focusing on the erogenous zones is the essence of foreplay, but sex counsellor and author Susan Quilliam issues a word of caution. “Penetrative acts are the way men most easily get aroused and climax.” she states. So whereas 34 per cent of women think foreplay is more important than intercourse, only 14 per cent of men agree. Men value foreplay simply because it gives pleasure to women.” Make sure he knows how vital it is for your pleasure.

8. “Is 'not tonight, I've got a headache' a valid excuse for not having sex?”

No. In fact, sex can cure a headache faster than Nurofen. This is because of the dopamine produced by the body during sex. Christophe Maquestiaux, a neuroscience expert based at the California Institute of Technology, explains, “Scientists have determined that, at its maximum, the pain relief offered by dopamine release is as potent as a high dose of morphine, making you feel better and letting you forget your worries as long as the stimulus is present.” Dopamine is the chemical that floods the brain when cocaine is taken, deadening pain. So if you've got a headache, you know what to do...

9. “When I fell in love with my partner, I wanted sex all the time. Four years on, I can't be bothered more than once a fortnight - why is this?”

When you're first attracted to someone, the hormone phenyulethylamine (PEA, which is also found in tiny quantities of chocolate) increases feelings of infatuation. And it's joined by a cocktail of equally strong chemicals, including norephinephrine, which makes you energetic and attentive, and dopamine, which floods you with happiness and desire.

The bad news is that after four years of neurotransmitter bombardment, your responses dull. You lose your sensitivity to chemicals responsible for that furious sex drive that you had when you first fell in love. Instead, other endorphins - including the “mothering” oxytocin - prevail, keeping you together but not necessarily desperate to spend all your time in bed.

So, what can you do about it? Research shows that dangerous situations increase production of adrenalin and in turn boost sex drive, because the body, having just averted death, wants to procreate. In an experiment in 1974, US psychologists found that when volunteers crossed a rickety rope-bridge, they were far more likely than volunteers who'd done nothing dangerous to rate pictures of the opposite sex as “very
attractive”. So, to rejuvenate your flagging sex life, take up dangerous sports together. Or failing that, just watch a scary movie.

10. “Is monogamy a realistic hope - or are we genetically hard-wired to sleep around?” 

There may be little scientific truth in the old ditty, “Hogamous higamous, man is polygamous, women is monogamous.” In fact, it's a far more equal world.

Sexual attraction is activated in the brain by a variety of endorphins, including phenyulethylamine (Pea). This in turn releases a chemical called vasopressin, also known as the monogamy hormone, as it urges a man to make sure his mate doesn't go off with anyone else. One plus is that it means he has to stick around, too.

Women also have a monogamy drug. During physical intimacy - touching, stroking and sex - women produe the hormone oxytocin. As well as engaging the mothering instinct, it also helps you bond with your partner. (Men respond less hormonally to touch, which is why cuddling is often less important to them).

However, this doesn't mean it's monogamy all the way. While men may have a biological urge to “spread their seed”, women are just as likely to keep their options open. Dr Robin Baker, author of Sperm Wars, claims that during ovulation women are programmed to seek out the best sperm to impregnate them, even if that means having sex with two men in the same day during their monthly window of fertility. But, girls, if you do take advantage of your naturally sexy times of the month, remember: that handsome stranger might not seem quite so appealing in a few days time.

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Sex Facts Everyone Should Know

Sex Facts Everyone Should Know

Discuss each of the following generalizations about male/female sexuality with your partner to find out if any are accurate to your relationship. Sex can be one of life’s most fulfilling experiences. But whether or not you’re sexually active, there is information you should have to help you set your own boundaries and make your own choices about sexual activity. 

These days, what you don’t know about sex can hurt you, so you’ll want to get the facts-and fast. Whether or not you’re currently having sex with someone, you probably have lots of questions about how to protect yourself and your partner.

1. A woman is more likely to want to commit adultery during ovulation than at any other time in her cycle.

2. Telling a convincing lie to someone is much more difficult when you find them sexually attractive.

3. Minute quantities of over 30 different substances have been identified in human semen. These include nitrogen, fructose, lactic acid, ascorbic acid, inositol, cholesterol, glutathione, creatine, pyruvic acid, citric acid, sorbitol, urea, uric acid and Vitamin B12, along with various salts and enzymes.

4. Chocolate contains phenylethylamine, the same feel-good chemical responsible for the ecstatic high people experience through sexual attraction and love.

5. Women who have given birth have darker labia minora than women who haven’t.

6. The majority of women experience a peak in libido just before their period.

7. -321°F is the temperature at which sperm banks store donor semen. At this temperature, semen can be stored indefinitely.

8. The point at which the average man reaches his sexual peak is between the ages of 17 and 18.

9. The earth could be re-populated to its current level using the number of sperm that could fit into an aspirin capsule.

10. A chicken egg could accommodate the number of female ova necessary to repopulate the earth to its present numbers.

11. During sexual intercourse, in addition to the genitals and breasts, the inner nose also swells.

12. White women are the most likely to engage in anal sex, particularly if they also have a college degree.

13. During erection, a smaller flaccid penis tends to have a greater percentage increase than a larger flaccid penis.

14. A teaspoon of semen contains approximately 5 calories.

15. Sex burns off an average of about 100 calories per session.

16. On average, from two to five million sperm are released each time a man ejaculates.

17. During any given period, women who read romance novels have a tendency to have twice as many lovers as those who don’t.

18. Almost a third of all women over 80 years of age still have sex with their spouse or boyfriend.

19. For both men and women, the heart rate averages 140 beats per minute at the point of orgasm.

20. The average woman will have sex more than 3,000 times over the course of her reproductive years.

21. Most men under 40 years of age can achieve an erection in less than 10 seconds.

22. Heterosexual anal sex is something 43% of women have experienced.

23. Women consider penis size the ninth most important feature for a man, while men rate it much more highly, in third place.

24. When a man ejaculates, the initial spurt travels at 28 miles per hour - faster than the world record for the 100 m sprint, which currently stands at 22.9 miles per hour.

25. In one hour, the average sperm can swim seven inches.

26. With nothing in its path, a penis can shoot semen anywhere from 12 to 24 inches.

27. The longest erect penis on record was 13 inches. The smallest was 1 cm.

28. There are 20 male masochists for every female masochist.

29. The average adult testicle contains enough sperm to measure a quarter of a mile laid out end to end.

30. For 75% of men, ejaculation occurs within 3 minutes of penetration.

31. During an average man’s lifetime, he will ejaculate approximately 17 litres of semen, which amounts to about half a trillion sperm.

32. The testes increase in size by 50% when a man is sexually aroused.

33. Australians are the most receptive to the idea of having a threesome - 28% of them claim to have tried it.

34. 1 in 50 people claim to have had sex in an aeroplane.

35. 15% of adults have had sexual intercourse at work.

36. 41% of men would like to have sex more frequently. Only 29% of women share this urge.

37. Greek couples have sex an average of 138 times a year - placing them at the top of the world sex league. Japanese couples have sex just 45 times a year, which puts them in last place.

38. 5% of adults have sex once a day. 20% have sex 3 - 4 times per week.

39. Every time they engage in oral sex with their partner, 30% of women swallow.

40. When sexually aroused, 60% of men get erect nipples.

41. Half of single women have sex by the third date.

42. 80% of men living in the USA have been circumcised.

43. Women over 40 years of age are more likely to masturbate than any other group.

44. There’s a direct link between how often a man has sex and his life expectancy.

45. According to experts, sex is about 10 times more effective as a tranquilizer than Valium.

46. Sex can relieve a headache - it releases the tension, which restricts blood vessels in the brain.

47. 44% of women find it impossible to enjoy sex with a man who is not their intellectual equal. Just 31% of men share this problem.

48. There are about 1,000 recognised euphemisms for ‘vagina’ in the English language.

49. At any given time, 25% of people are daydreaming about sex.

50. Over half of American adults have used the phone, email or text message to have sex.

51. According to studies, the larger a man’s testicles, the more likely he is to stray.

52. 75% of Japanese women own a vibrator. The average worldwide is 47%.

53. It takes two tablespoons of blood to get the average man’s penis erect.

54. During their lifetime, the average driver will have sex in their car six times.

55. Americans spend twice as much money on pornography as they do on biscuits.

56. The clitoris contains twice as many nerve fibres as the penis - a toe- curling 8,000.

57. One in five women living with their boyfriend has more than one sexual partner.

58. Besides humans, bonobos (a type of chimp) and dolphins are the only animals that have sex for pleasure.

59. It tends to be easier for women to orgasm during ovulation than at any other time in their cycle.

60. The size of the vagina decreases by 30% as orgasm becomes imminent.

61. While giving birth, some women have been known to experience orgasm.

62. Inside the female body, sperm cells can survive for up to nine days.

63. For up to 70% of women, simultaneous direct stimulation of the clitoris during intercourse is essential for them to reach orgasm.

64. Over 30% of men suffer from premature ejaculation. 10% of men are affected by erectile dysfunction.

65. It’s possible to relieve depression through masturbation.

66. The longer a man’s ring finger is compared to his index finger, the more testosterone he has.

67. The average aroused vagina is 4 inches long - shorter than the average erect penis, which measures in at 6 inches.

68. The average woman can reach orgasm in about 4 minutes through masturbation, while through intercourse, it can take 10 -20 minutes.

69. Sneezes, along with orgasms, are the only physiological responses that cannot be voluntarily stopped once they have started.

70. Straight men tend to have smaller penises than gay men.

71. 85% of women are very satisfied with their partner’s penis size.

72. Evidence exists indicating that penis size may be linked to index finger length.

73. In rare cases, menstrual cramps have been known to bring about orgasm.

74. The amount of wet dreams a man is likely to have increases in line with the number of years spent in formal education.

75. Compared to anywhere else, adults are more likely to tell a lie in bed.

76. The majority of women prefer to have sex in the dark.

77. Men find women with enlarged pupils more sexually attractive.

78. When having sex, black women are 50% more likely to reach orgasm than white women.

79. 60% of non-smoking women have had no sexual partners in the past year, while 70% of women who smoke have had more than four lovers over the same timescale.

80. Women who are prone to migraines tend to have a higher sex drive than those who are not.

81. Thirty four per cent of men have told lies in order to have sex. Ten per cent of women have done the same.

82. More than 50% of all cheating wives choose married men as their lovers.

83. About 1% of women can achieve orgasm solely through breast stimulation.

84. Within the week, 22% of women tell at least five friends about their first sexual experience with a partner.

85. 70% of men and women admit to having fantasised about someone else while having sex.

86. Two thirds of runners admit to having thought about sex while running.

87. 68% of men and 59% of women had a sexual liaison with someone in their past, which they have not told their current partner about.

88. An overwhelming majority of sexual partners have only skimpy knowledge of what truly turns each other on.

89. By their 18th birthday, six in 10 teenage women and more than five in 10 teenage men have had sexual intercourse.

90. How do couples have sex after a romantic dinner? It could be one of the grossest things to do. Imagine, sex between burps. Sex isn't fun when your mouth stinks, and when your stomach is full. Now, if you are having sex only to burn calories, then it's a different thing altogether.

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